My bikini body ain’t what it used to be, but I’m in Paradise so I’m wearing red.
There’s a topless child with uneven braids and a baseball cap who hasn’t glanced at her thighs even once.
A very fat man in a white T-shirt just won two free drinks at poolside bingo regardless of his sweat.
A blue gecko is chasing a grey one.
My mom has my kids and based on the pictures she sent, they’re destroying her basement.
We bought a bottle of tequila in a tin that may or may not be used as an urn someday.
The MTA lost another good mechanic, the headphones I bought aren’t charging properly, and the waterproof mascara isn’t as reliable as advertised.
But we’re here, we’re sexy, and we’re on our way to buy another $19 sunscreen. Cheers.