Ghosting is a term used when a person drops off – just stops returning texts or answering the phone. Someone ghosts on you when they disappear – it’s used especially when referring to a romantic interest, or more specifically, a former romantic interest.

The Irish goodbye (and I don’t know the etymology of this term – if I’m being insensitive I apologize sincerely) is another kind of disappearing act. It’s used when a person leaves a party, say, or an event, without saying goodbye. They just slip out.

That’s where I’ve been.

I ghosted you all. I’ve been in class. I just stopped blogging.

Here’s why:

On Day 18 I did double duty – A core class in the morning and a vinyasa class in the evening. I needed a double dose – I felt emotionally unstable. I felt like I needed more and more and more. I wanted my muscles to ache. I cried in the evening class more than once. It was a profound and deeply satisfying experience.

On Day 19 I went to the beach.

On Day 20 I attended a heated class. My second heated class, actually, and I’m not sure it worked for me. I left feeling really uncomfortable. The class seemed like it was moving in slow motion; the movements were small. My back hurt when I left.

On Day 21 I went back to the beach.

And now it’s now. I’m back on the blog. Day 22. It feels good to acknowledge my tendency to fade away. Maybe writing it down will ease this dreadful inclination. I can always come back to the breath, right?

Namaste, all. Thanks for being here.

Posted by

Mel Kozakiewicz a professor, editor, writer, and mother of two.

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