Today was all about focus. I guess it takes a few days to begin to quiet the mind.

I’ve never been able to crack the balancing poses; I’m not elegant. I watch and admire the grace of the swans beside me with their Warrior 3 legs and torsos floating while I wobble and topple into an unassuming swan’s mat.

I’m so awkward. I can’t focus on one spot and maintain my composure. My eyes dart around the room looking at thighs and buns which seem to fit so perfectly into poses. And so I fall.

But not tonight. Tonight, for some unknown reason (maybe the muscle ache from yesterday’s class?), my brain was moving slow enough to stand on one leg with the other outstretched and my arms over my head. I moved in careful and deliberate slow-motion, a skill I have not yet mastered as a Type A working mother of two boys under 5.

The focus felt good. I nailed it.

And once, while I was standing in a balancing pose, the teacher talked about setting an intention. She said to think of someone who might “need a little love.” As soon as she said that, a tiny version of my 11 year old self popped into my head, smiling and waving both her hands at me, crazy hair in messy braids. I almost laughed. Or cried. Anyway, I hugged her.

If this 30 day experience is going to sharpen my focus and return me to the smallest parts of myself who need the hugs, then maybe the classes are less about balancing on one leg and more about stillness and introspection.

Or maybe those are all a part of the same thing.


Posted by

Mel Kozakiewicz a professor, editor, writer, and mother of two.

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